I realized its April 14th today and I have not
written even a single post this month, until now (Sigh!). I think I’m a little preoccupied with things and
also a little tired along with being lazy from past few days. The Goa trip last
week was amazing. It helped me in getting my emotions on place.
Okay, so today morning I was talking to my mom, and, as
usual she started blabbering about my wedding. My parents saw a guy and they
really liked him and his family. Now, when they are convinced about him being
the right person for their daughter (that is me), they are behind me for
meeting his family. Although, I made them clear that I am not yet interested in
marriage but you know how parents are. If they find someone awesome (as per
them) then they surely won’t leave you. Since I work for Big4’s, I write, I am
mature enough and I am 25, they think this is the right time for anyone to get
married.
Yes, if you see ‘normal’ people, their mentality is built
like this. Once they get a job the next motive for them is to get married. And
that’s how it is going in my family as well. My family means my relatives and
long distance relatives... Looking at other’s daughters and sons getting
married, even my parents want me and my brother to get married. Of course relative’s
pressure and neighbors are more worried than your own parents. In every family
function the only topic is ‘He/She has a job now what else he/she wants).’ That
is how a typical mentality is.
Now I don’t know how guys feel about it, but being a girl I
am very scared of this term ‘Marriage’ (or wedding). Wedding is just not
another relationship like a brother or a sister but it’s the most important of
all. You not only have additional
responsibilities, but being a girl, you have to place your happiness behind
your family. Believe it or not, but a girl has to change a lot and compromise a
little more than guys do.
If it is a love marriage and a girl is desperate to get
married then things are a little different. You are so eager to change your
name that on wedding night, you open Facebook and change your last name to his.
In love marriage you are waiting for that moment to happen in your life and
always ready to leave your parents’ house to live with him (or her in case of
guys). But in arrange marriage things
are little (in fact completely) different. As soon as my parents start talking
about me getting married, I have this fear in my mind, revolving around that
how will I leave my parents and go to someone’s else’s house? How will I change my last name to his when I love
my own name so-so much? How I will have another set of parents to take care of
and I won’t be able to live with my parents for whole of my life?
I am not sure if I am the only girl who goes through this
situation in life, but I am sure along with me there are many other girls who
would relate to this thought.
When a girl leaves her house and changes her name, believe
me that is the toughest thing to do. You
change your complete identity, you change a complete ‘you’ to someone else. You
are no longer in your comfort zone, but you go to someone else’s house and make
it yours. A girl has to treat a guy’s
parents as a priority than her own parents. She leaves her own house and goes
to someone else’s house forever. The
thought about it just makes me nervous. There
are many girls who are not that close to their parents to feel this pain, but I
am among those lucky ones who feel the pain of detaching from their parents
forever after marriage. I never express
my fear to them, that’s why I am not ready for marriage or not yet. But the
thing is I can’t see myself and my life without my real parents. At least not yet!
I will
love them till eternity!
Actually, this age is like that. When you need to work like
hell and this is also the right time for getting married. This is the time when
you make or break your life. This is the time when you have to take most
important decisions of your life. This is the time when you fall in love,
overcome breakups, get into relationships or make your career. Very few follow
the last one (that is making their career and working hard). 
Anyways god has plan for all of us. Hopefully everything
should fall in place! J
Hopefully :)
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Yes, Hopefully! :)
DeleteNice... article i like it
DeleteBe it love or arranged... marriage is always a gamble and there can be never be "perfect" things in your life ever. I read somewhere.. it's more about "perfect attitude" than about "perfect partner". So according to me examples of "perfect attitude" are
ReplyDeleteThere is no change in identity there is addition in identity. Before marriage it's just "MY" identity after marriage it's not just "ME" it's OUR identity"
You don't seek comfort zone. You create them and carry them where ever your go. Do you really seek it in your family, with your parents ?
There is nothing called a second house. It's called one more house of yours (and that goes for both husband and wife)
You can never prioritize among yours and your husband's parents because they are "parents"
A girl never never leaves her house forever. She make homes, she completes an incomplete family.
And the most important thing which goes for both a boy and a girl, parents give them birth, do every thing possible for their child probably the last and the most important responsibility of them is their children's marriage. This is the day which brings utmost happiness for them. And that's why they are always very excited for this and who will not wish for the day to come at the earliest which brings utmost happiness to them.
Amrita, you are right God has plans for all of us, but too often we plan so many things for ourselves, have so much expectations from ourselves and the world around us that we usually overlook the omens of God's plans !!!!
My sweet friend..so happy to get your reply after a long longg time. I agree with whatever you have said above. And ofcourse you have experienced it personally... so I can believe on what all you wrote above. The only thing my own self.. Will tell personally. ;)
Delete