Saturday, March 31, 2012

PerFeCt pErfect Relationship! XXXXXXXX----XXXX


Who is calling you again and again? I asked my friend Rose. She replied casually saying who else but my boyfriend. Then why are you not receiving his call, I held my eyebrows a bit high with a question mark on the face and few lines on my forehead. "Oh that's fine" she said...let him call like few more times and then i will receive. After saying this she got busy with the lady at the parlor who was doing her Pedicure( uff, i know). Her mobile kept on ringing within every five minutes of time. Then she received few messages and she did not even bothered to look at them. She was busy in her make over at the parlor. She was busy in asking the lady that what facial will be good for her skin and that in what time she should change the hair color that she recently applied. I looked at my mobile if he has called me or messaged me. Nope as usual he didn't.Since i told him that i will be going out with my friends he preferred not to disturb me. I found it a sensible thought as well. But still i missed him and wondered why don't he call me like Rose's boyfriend calls her. Why don't he messages me even when i say I will be fine if he don't.
"Oh yes Baby..the hair color is exactly like the way you want.Rose exclaimed on the phone. Yes i love you too baby, she added". And i think he asked something personal and she went outside murmuring on the phone. What i heard was she was saying that since she was busy she could not receive the call. I made the payment at the counter and came out of the place.After looking at rose, even i was excited to tell him about my makeover and what all happened. I called him and messaged as well, but he didn't replied to either of them. That usually happens when he is busy and i really don't mind if he don't reply to my calls or messages, because that's what happens mostly. I am the one in the relationship who gives the extra effort. It is like that in every relationship. One person surely does more than the other. But since we love each other, it gets compensated. It does not matter who does more and who does a little less. Me and Rose went for some shopping after that and her man kept on messaging her saying what dress, color she should buy, what should she wear at the wedding and what he wants her to buy as a gift for the couple. I was in my world thinking he didn't reply to my message yet. He has given me enough freedom to wear what i want, what color i love, and the right to chose anything as a gift. I am the one was has a kind of responsibility to take care of these things. Looking at Rose, i called him asking what color should i wear at the office party. I think this was the first time i acted kranky like this. I received an message saying " In a meeting. Talk to you later". I shopped with half mind and decided to go home.
Rose went with her boyfriend as he wanted to spend some time with her, and wanted to see the stuffs she brought from the market. He came to pick her up at the Mall. I took a rickshaw
and reached home. It somehow triggered in my mind that our relationship is not as perfect as Rose's relationship.
Today i decided to talk to him at the dinner. We met. He was as usual...Normal and happy. He talked about the office stuff. And asked me how was my day..I replied coldly saying "it was Okay".. I was not into the conversation because i had this thought that the relationship we have is not perfect. I waited for him to say I love you..He did not. I asked him if he loves me. He said "yes of course I do" The answer was not that appealing to me..He was not able to convince me today that he loved me. Somewhere three words were not enough for me to believe. Somehow i felt that the relationship is not working. Somewhere, Love was not enough for him to make me happy. Somewhere i started expecting things out of him that i never expected. Looking at someone else's relationship expectations started rising. I wanted him to do those stuffs for me that rose's boyfriend does for her. For me the definition of perfect relationship changed. He was not aware of what happened to me today. He did not even made an effort to know much. It burst-ed me more, and i walked out saying.." I think it's not working anymore. I think you don't love me".
Guys the above situation is just to make all of us realize that definition of perfect PeRfect relationship is different from person to person. Never compare your relationship with some

one's else, because you don't know how much is the love percentage in their relationship. People call thousand times a day and still cheat on each other. People in relationship from seven or Eight year break up because they don't love each other anymore. Or Few cases, People just meet in a second..fall in love and stays forever with each other. I think we have to decide what a perfect relationship will be for us instead of looking around the world and then defining it.
Love should be perfect and it sets the relationship in a perfect manner!!
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Sunday, March 25, 2012

Somebody Listening ?!?! We need to be safe.


I have always felt that the safety and security of a women is her own responsibility and no one else should be blamed. But yesterday was the day when my thoughts changed. What i think now is that the safety and security of a women depends on the people living in the society as well, along with the women herself. There have been instances in India and all over the country that says its women who is responsible for the bad behavior of guys. Really? how many of you think that its completely a girls responsibility to avoid the social calamities like Rape, or misbehavior, or unaccepted acts done by a guy like teasing girls on the road, passing comments that makes a girl feel awkward. I think both Men and Women are equally responsible for the increase in rapes in city like Delhi or anywhere else in India.
Let me tell you guys a incident that recently happened with me when i was travelling. I was really excited to go for the Annual Management Fest to my college like two years after i completed my Graduation. It was an awaiting moment for me as i was going to meet my old friends, batch-mates, my college, the professors, and the juniors. I booked the bus tickets from the leading online service provider" Red Bus". I have booked my tickets through Red bus quite a few times. The best thing about red bus booking is that they always deliver the tickets on time, and have a very good after sale service like calling you if you received the ticket, of if you need the contact number of the bus you are travelling in etc. I was all set to travel with my bag pack and this time without my laptop.
The journey towards the college was good enough. I reached safely to the city called Bangalore and also the Auto person helped me out in finding my friend's house. Her place was somewhere in the city, and it was in real interior. We took great effort reaching her place. Ah. they have thousand of houses in a row, all look alike with no names, and you have to go search which one is yours. The landmarks are something unknown to people living in that locality. So you should have alteast two or three landmarks when you are searching for a house in India especially in Bangalore, Delhi, or Mumbai. So all went well, i attended the Management fest with my friend and the juniors and super juniors. It was a fun event, and went off super quick.
On my return journey i had the same bus. I expected it to be safe and secure. It was a night journey and i probably could have reached my place like 0530 hrs. It was 0430 hrs and i felt somebody is trying to touch my hand. I thought may be its by mistake. Since i had taken the first seat, i thought may be someone's is just trying to relax as may be he didn't got the place. I tried sleeping again. Some Anonymous guy continued to touch my hand and trying to move forward. The seat assigned to me was just next to the driver, and still that guy had the courage to tease a girl in the moving forward bus. I opened the curtain of my seat and tried to look who he is. He all of a sudden got up and went in the back side of the bus so that i don't catch him. I thought after this he wont try doing it again. But can you guys believe he came back, and repeated the same thing. He tried putting his hands again. Since i was aware this is going to happen i was awake the whole night until i reached my destination. Realizing i am not asleep, he did that again, i became aggressive this time and shouted saying "What he Hell"?? He ran and went to his seat. Since i was alone, i didn't wanted to make it an issue as that can guy can take the revenge( As it happens that when you hurt the ego of the person, he tries to take the revenge now or later). I wanted myself to be safe and reach home ASAP. So i kept quiet, and got down at my stop.

Now here's the question. What do guys expect us to do? Should we not go out? Or may be we can't travel alone? Do you rapist want us to not to wear the dresses we want to or talk to people openly? You want us to be in a cage so that is the most safest place i think. Do you want us to be like a bird without the wings? We will do as you say Mr. Rapist. We won't work, we won't talk,

we won't come out of the house, we literally won't go alone anywhere. Are we going to be safe then? or may be ? or may be not, right? A girl is never going to be safe in such a society where you can't trust a cab driver that is picking you up from the office at 0200 hours, and then taking you to some odd place and then rapes you, and runs away. The police couldn't catch the culprit, and it keeps repeating over and over again. I don't get it, the guy who does this with other girls for sure has a Mother if not a sister. Why don't they realize that it spoils the girls future, no guy want to accept a girl who has gone through something like this. The parents as well feel ashamed of the girl if something like this happens with their daughter.
Please Mr. Rapist, you will continue doing this but a girl can't continue to give herself to some Anonymous brat whom she don't even know. You have to understand that a girl deserves to be safe in her mother country. Don't she? Somebody's Listening? We need to be safe!!
We do!

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Thursday, March 8, 2012

She said this is what i am Supposed to do!!


She was born with a sweet smile, no teeth ofcourse, Bright eyes, small tiny hands, red and was little chubby. Was a beautiful kid. Few said she looked like her mom and few said like her dad. But at that moment what was more important is that she was safe. Both mom and the kid were healthy and happy. What else could people ask for. There was happiness everywhere. Really ? No, not exactly. Few old people in the family where not that happy and excited about being a 'girl' born in the family. They wanted a 'boy' who can later continue their family and give birth to a son when he gets married. Baby girl was not aware of this thing going on in the world. She was happy to be born, she was just a kid to her mom and an angel for her dad.
She was one when she started crawling, two she started calling Mamm, and dadi..well its Mom and Daddy. She was unable to say full words. She was tiny, i never thought kids can be that tiny too. She was lovable to the family but still a kind of responsibility to her parents. A responsibility until she gets married to someone else. When she was three she went to school, same like a guy. Ofcourse primary Education is important for every child, be it a girl or a guy . She was treated with equality until she was a kid of five years.
She was eight when her grand parents asked her parents to teach the house hold works. They looked at each other and said..'But she is a kid'. And the grandparents said..'For a girl nothing is kid..they have to grow up and be matured at early age'. She started cleaning the house, cooking food for everyone when she returns from school. She helped her mom in making pickles, washing clothes, utensils and few other house hold chores. At the age of ten, she was a matured girl .She was not allowed to go out of the house to play like other guys. Her brother, yeah they had another kid and he was a guy. Her family was much more happier to have a son in their family.He was free, he was more aligned into studies. His grandparents kept him on their eyes. Whatever he said has to be cooked, whatever he wants has to be there in the house. Looking at herself, She said," yeah, i know this is what i am supposed to do!"
When she was thirteen, she was the one to take care of her brother, parents, cook both meals, when any guest comes she was the one to prepare tea/coffee, give some snacks. She was asked to smile at everyone, not to talk in loud voice, listen to everyone, do what brother asks to do, no laughing or giggling, respect elders because they are elder to us, respect young gen as they are younger to us. Not to wear fancy clothes, pray god everyday, learn the Gita/Mahabrata (Epics in india) and etc etc...She visited temple everyday, and was asked to pray to get a good husband in the life. She said " yeah, i know this is what i am supposed to do!"
She turned eighteen, was perfect in stitching, cooking, cleaning, managing households, taking care of people. Her parents were looking groom for her. Eighteen was a right age for them for her to get married. The guy should be working in an government office as they wanted their girl to get a life time security. The family should be good. Guys good looks did not matter then. She didn't looked at her husband before she got married to him..She was happy and said " yeah, i know this is what i am supposed to do!"
She got married, took care of the family, fulfilled her responsibilities, and had kids. She continued what she was taught. She had a girl and made her like herself. She had a boy and he was free like air and breeze. And when asked by her daughter when she was eighteen that how does her mom feels being at home all the time? Her mom said " Yeah, i know this is what i was supposed to do all of my life".
Daughter looked at her mom, eyes full of dreams, holding her hand she said :
" Mommy is this what even i am supposed to do ?" What if i want to study further, what if i wanna have my identity ? What if i say i don't want to get married to the guy you choose for me ? What if i say...i am in love with someone? What if i wanna go see experience the world, What if..what if..before she could complete the sentence, her dad listened to all what she, slapped her, she fell down on the ground. With loud voice Said 'Don't ever think of working, don't ever think if you can fall in love, Don't ever try talking like this in my house'. Asking to shut her mouth and do only what she is supposed to do!! Do only what a Girl is supposed to do, to form a family, give birth to a kid, and take care of her family.
Walking out of the room, tears in her eyes, looking at the dreams shattering in front of her, she said to herself " I will change the world one day! I will change my daughter, i will make her live her life and do what she wants to do. I will let her know what life is all about. Yes, i will change the world one day.
With heads up, and on a mission to change the world She got married when she was eighteen.But she was happy. While leaving the house told to her mom and dad :
"Now i know...this is what i am supposed to do!! I now know..what a girl is supposed to do. A girl is supposed to educate a family. A girls is supposed to educate the world!
A girl is supposed to be the change she wants the world to be, and most importantly, a girl is supposed to support a girl" And now i know..What a girl is supposed to do!"
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