I called him.He didn't receive. I called again, and again. and again. Well how many times, it was more than 100 times i guess for today. Messaged him infinity times , no reply. I asked in my messages, to call him back atleast once. Just once, I wanted to listen to him for the last time, I wanted to talk to him for the last time before everything was over. Before our path takes the other way, and we depart from each other forever. But i tihink he was not even bothered about that one call or message that i was expecting from him. Waiting for his ONE call, Standing in the balcony, evening seven thirty it was, tried calling again. I knew he won't receive. I left the message again. Leaning down the left side walls on the balcony, the walls were wet as it rained sometime back. Looking down towards the local market that was rushed at that time, as people were buying vegetables for dinner. I thought the days back when he used to love me crazily. Why things changed? why his feelings changed for me from what they were back then. I just had a question why?
I talked to myself :
what's wrong with you Aryan? Why are you not talking? I am the same, you are the same, then what changed? Why can't you love me now, like the way you used to do?
Why don't you like going out with me, remember those days, when we used to take your bike, and just go on and on, without knowing where to go.?
Why don't you come with me to have tea, 20 kms away, in the small village, the road side shop, just to spend time with me?
Why don't you call me again and again, to ask if i am gonna come home with you, having dinner, and coffee at Barista?
Why don't you care for me, when i am sick and not well, like you used to take leave from office, just because i had fever, and was alone at home?
Why don't you ask if i reached office safely, or if i am tired of work and need a break, to spend time with you?
Why don't you hold my hands, or say ' I love you' like you used to do all these years?
Why don't you like spending time with me watching Tv. or doing nothing, just sitting and sipping coffee and talking non sense, still laughing on every talk?
Why don't you message me at four in the morning, saying you can't wait to see me the first thing in the day?
Aryan, why don't you write silly poems for me, and sing some stupid song like:
Well, a very famous hindi song from the Movie Blackmail) " Why Aryan?
Why the wasting seconds doesn't matter to you now, when earlier, you never wanted to waste them and utilize in seeing me every-now and then.
Why don't you lie to your friends now, that you can't come out with them because you have stomach ache and how you used to run, so that they don't catch your lie. How we used to keep hiding from going to the places where they can visit.
Why did you dreams changed, the marriage, and how you wanted me to wear the Red color Indian Tradition Attire?
Why don't you want our kids to be the Doctor and the engineer?
Why don't you have fear of losing me, why , why? Why are you letting me go soo easily, when you used to say..Amy i will never let you go from my life. and i said ' let's see' , you challenged, and said ' Let's see babay, you are gonna lose it this time'. Well, i thought you are gonna win and i lose. They why Aryan?
I just want to know Aryan, why don't you love me? Why can't you love me ?
In the meantime i realized i have a message on my cellphone. .
It was from Aryan. and you know what did he say " I don't have any answer to your questions. But to be frank, i don't feel for you anymore. I don't get that love feeling somehow. you are a good girl, and i am sure you will get someone better than me. I know you are matured enough, to come out of it!.and Please Move On. That's all i can say."
I think he meant, Move on, Move on with the tears i have given you, move on with the sadness, the emptiness that i have gifted you. Move on, move on with something that can never happen.
I asked Myself again, The never ending question: Why can't you love me, Aryan? Why? ? ? and the tear rolled down my eyes!
P.S.: Guys, Aryan is just a name i am using it to represent a person. It does not hold anything to anyone personally.
I talked to myself :
what's wrong with you Aryan? Why are you not talking? I am the same, you are the same, then what changed? Why can't you love me now, like the way you used to do?
Why don't you like going out with me, remember those days, when we used to take your bike, and just go on and on, without knowing where to go.?
Why don't you come with me to have tea, 20 kms away, in the small village, the road side shop, just to spend time with me?
Why don't you call me again and again, to ask if i am gonna come home with you, having dinner, and coffee at Barista?
Why don't you care for me, when i am sick and not well, like you used to take leave from office, just because i had fever, and was alone at home?
Why don't you ask if i reached office safely, or if i am tired of work and need a break, to spend time with you?
Why don't you hold my hands, or say ' I love you' like you used to do all these years?
Why don't you like spending time with me watching Tv. or doing nothing, just sitting and sipping coffee and talking non sense, still laughing on every talk?
Why don't you message me at four in the morning, saying you can't wait to see me the first thing in the day?
Aryan, why don't you write silly poems for me, and sing some stupid song like:
Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas Tum Rehti Ho
Jeevan Meethi Pyaas Yeh Kehti Ho
Pal Pal Dil Ke Paas Tum Rehti HoWell, a very famous hindi song from the Movie Blackmail) " Why Aryan?
Why the wasting seconds doesn't matter to you now, when earlier, you never wanted to waste them and utilize in seeing me every-now and then.
Why don't you lie to your friends now, that you can't come out with them because you have stomach ache and how you used to run, so that they don't catch your lie. How we used to keep hiding from going to the places where they can visit.
Why did you dreams changed, the marriage, and how you wanted me to wear the Red color Indian Tradition Attire?
Why don't you want our kids to be the Doctor and the engineer?
Why don't you have fear of losing me, why , why? Why are you letting me go soo easily, when you used to say..Amy i will never let you go from my life. and i said ' let's see' , you challenged, and said ' Let's see babay, you are gonna lose it this time'. Well, i thought you are gonna win and i lose. They why Aryan?
I just want to know Aryan, why don't you love me? Why can't you love me ?
In the meantime i realized i have a message on my cellphone. .
It was from Aryan. and you know what did he say " I don't have any answer to your questions. But to be frank, i don't feel for you anymore. I don't get that love feeling somehow. you are a good girl, and i am sure you will get someone better than me. I know you are matured enough, to come out of it!.and Please Move On. That's all i can say."
I think he meant, Move on, Move on with the tears i have given you, move on with the sadness, the emptiness that i have gifted you. Move on, move on with something that can never happen.
I asked Myself again, The never ending question: Why can't you love me, Aryan? Why? ? ? and the tear rolled down my eyes!
P.S.: Guys, Aryan is just a name i am using it to represent a person. It does not hold anything to anyone personally.
TOUCHY TOUCHY POST :) CHEER UP by thinking awl 4 gOOD :)
ReplyDeleteDeePaK
@DeEpAK : Thanks for visiting the blog.Finally i am successful to get a comment from the most active indiblogger :)
ReplyDeleteAnd Yeah i too hope so, that all happens for good!
Emotionally charged and honest to the moment when this all is felt
ReplyDeleteI believe its posts like this justifies the existence of the blogging sites. Posts like these in which feelings, emotions, desires, hopes, fears and everything felt in a lone moment are poured into.
Kudos
@NUKTAA : Thanks , thanks soo much. your words have made my day, i hope i will keep upto your expectations in coming posts.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting!:)
it's your starting of blogging but you proved yourself with your post that "Look at Me,i m not a beginner"
ReplyDeleteFan...!! Truly..so well expressed..!! Hats off...!!
ReplyDeleteGrt...I m truly your fan...!!
ReplyDelete@ Deepak Bagwari: Thank you! you have always been supportive to me from the day i have joined the blogger. I really want to thank you.
ReplyDelete@ Mayank Gupta: :) Thank you.
ReplyDeletebut you are my budding competitor..:P
Liked that..!
ReplyDelete@Satnam : Thanks! both for liking the article, and visiting the Blog. :)
ReplyDeleteDid you manage to get the answer ???
ReplyDelete@Tejo : Nope, thats why its an unanswered question.
ReplyDeleteI tried to search my slippers scratching the surface with my right leg in dark but found none...then I looked at my mobile again and found that the call was at its few last rings before the status would land to a miss call... I dare to kiss my legs on that cold marble and moved bare foot towards my mobile's blinking light which was focusing on that big black machine....My Laptop...kept beside it...Who cud be at 0100 hour??...cursing myself as to why I put it on charging last night...I moved my body towards both the machines trying to defense those dew shots hanging in the cold air of mid Jan...
ReplyDeleteContinued....
@Mayank : I would like to read further. Its coming out awesome!! :)
ReplyDeleteResisting myself from keep covering my chest with my hands I finally grabbed the ringing mobile and passed my most anxious sight to the mobile screen flashing the name Shweta...!! All my evil thoughts to abuse out loud the caller, immediately suppressed and with my shivering thumb I pressed the green button which was about to connect me to that beautiful girl who was not very unknown to me...we met just a month back..."Hey!! dear I cant sleep, could you please talk to me just for few minutes..." Ooohhh..!! what else a boy wants..a dream like girl wants to talk to you midnight...calling the shots on my senses...I immediately replied...oh!! what happened....which could have been #*@^&% for a male voice at this hour.... In my whole work place among those 50 males she choose only me to share her xyz feeling and that too being the most beautiful girl, her voice now activated inter heating sensors of my body which relieved my to move my hands from my chest to remove the charging pin and I rushed towards that cozy warm bed which could inculcate some warm feelings to en-cash this opportunity to woo her.
ReplyDeleteThnx...Ma'am...!! I tried a bit more...please suggest....!!
ReplyDeleteVery touchy ..why can't you love me?..many r trying to find this answer..nice post.
ReplyDeleteThanks for liking it!!! :)
Delete